Author Archives: A Poor Girls Guide

…To “The Social Network”

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I caught an early screening of The Social Network last week, and while a movie about mostly already wealthy people, making and then fighting over even more money may make you want to vom, it did have its enjoyable bits. And then of course some not so enjoyable bits. It was fun to get the back-story on a website which changed our vernacular, the way we think and communicate in only just a few short years.

Genius Visionary Douchebag

I love me some Aaron Sorkin, and frankly his writing was the biggest draw for me on this movie; but I think his style translates best to fare with more humor, heart,and light (The American President, Sports Night, The West Wing). In a film about angry, nerdy, rich kids dueling it out for social – and Eating Club – supremacy, his style just translated as exhausting. A million words per minute, 20-somethings with clenched teeth, and cutting from 3 periods in time to weave a story was just tiring. It’s a lot. And really, who would have ever thought it possible to loathe Jesse Eisenberg? I guess it’s really a testament to his acting. During the movie I found myeself wanting to punch him. If Mark Zuckerberg is anything near this portrayal, I want to find him and tell him to stop being such a self-important douchebag…and then kick him in the crotch.

I  feel like we’ll laugh at The Social Network in about 10 years. Though Sorkin tried to make the movie more about lasting, common themes like friendship, betrayl, trust, blah blah blah, we’re basically going to be like, “pish posh…facebook….” I mean imagine what you would think of a movie made about MySapce 3 years ago. But yeah, I’d say go see it, just make someone else pay for it.

~ Poor Girl’s Musing of the Week #9 ~

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With the premiere this week of HBO’s Boardwalk Empire, I’ve decided to pay homage to a type of communication long since forgotten in my review of said episode: the telegram.  Who doesn’t love a good telegram? OMG,  right…? And you wonder why telegrams have gone the way of  Pogs. Can you imagine what a telegram would look like today? I cringe. Anyway, here’s my homage to the OG Twitter.

JIMMY, HOW YOU’VE GROWN SINCE DAWSON’S CREEK-(STOP)-MICHELLE WILLIAMS CHOSE THAT GUY?-(STOP)- BUSCEMI WEARS LIPSTICK-(STOP)- ‘BILLY MADISON’ ACCURATE-(STOP)-O’DOYLE RULES-(STOP)- LIQUOR, SAWED-OFF SHOTGUNS, THE CHARLESTON. WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE-(STOP)- MUCH PROMISE-(FULL STOP)-

…To Yom Kippur

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Yom Kippur, it’s really the best holiday – a Poor Girl’s dream. I mean let’s face it, you don’t have money for food on any old regular day, and  Yom Kippur is a day where everyone fasts. None of your friends will think you odd for shuning food today. So are you low on cash, high on god? I hear ya. If you’re trying to make it to shul for Yom Kippur tomorrow so, ya know, you don’t get smote or anything check out this list of freebies in the LA area:

http://bs.serving-sys.com/BurstingPipe/adServer.bs?cn=tf&c=19&mc=imp&pli=1763045&PluID=0&ord=[timestamp]&rtu=-1

New Deal – Rita Hayworth a Thousand Bucks Heels

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NYLA brand 1940′s Inspired Wedge Heels – $26 Nordstrom Rack, Seattle, Washington

Whether you hittin’ the Hollywood Canteen, Rick’s, or, ya know, just your office, you’ll be appropriately attired. Comfortable with a stacked wooden wedge heel and a ankle strap you can give a little wink to the 1940s as you strut through your day; because as time goes by these heels will be priceless.

~ Poor Girl’s Musing of the Week #8 ~

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In this Neo-Depression we’ve not only lost our jobs and savings accounts, but also apparently, our ability to spell. We’ve played witness to a barrage of social networks and start-ups desperate for a grammar lesson like Tumblr, Flixster, Fotolog, and Reddit. Even everyone’s favorite, Twitter is maxed out at 140 characters. I guess in this economy even letters are hard to come by. What would your 3rd grade teacher say? Hell, probably nothing, I bet she’s putting things like OMFG on spelling tests nowadays.

Is it just me or if nobody has a job these days shouldn’t we all have ample time to read a full sentence? We’re not ‘too busy’ for things  today as the media and every electronics company would have us believe, we’re simply too freaking lazy; and that’s the real reason you don’t have a job anymore. You were too lazy to staple something for your boss or make a thingymahozet, and when your job is making thingymahoozets well that kind of behavior is simply not tolerated. Sociologists refer to us as Generation-Y, but I call us Gernation-ADD. We’ve done ourselves a diservice and shrunk our own attent….

…sorry, I had to go update my Facebook status – I choked on a Gummy Bear.

New Deal – My What Big Boots You Have

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Vintage Italian Leather Boots c. 1960 – Free. My Baube’s Closet (originally purchased at Fashion Bootery, Salem, OR)

No, calm down I didn’t pillage some dead woman’s closet. Little old Baube’s still kickin’ and duh, I asked my 94 year old grandma if I could take her boots. At 94, Baube’s seen a lot of decades which kind of works out nicely for me given all of history’s fashion trends. More than a few items from her closet will be featured here. These knee-high boots have done some serious walkin’ from 1960 to my closet here and now. Still perfectly intact, and no worse for wear, I was just asked the other day where I bought them. Well I could tell you, lady, but I’m pretty sure they’re out of stock.

Being both poor and fashionable are hard to reconcile most of the time. I know, sometimes cheap vintage can be creepy, especially if you’re wearing someone else’s shoes; but knowing exactly whose feet those were makes walking a mile in them that much less gross. Yay.

…To Choosing a College Degree

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The only way to make money as a teacher

So clearly you’ve followed the Poor Girl’s advice, applied and gotten aid to, and are now attending college. Great. Fantastic. Now you have to choose a major. Good luck with that. Coming to a decision which seemingly concludes the very thing you would like to do with the rest of your life is not only daunting, it’s basically impossible. Realistically your major is merely a suggestion, because whatever you want to do in life, you’re going to ultimately pursue.. Sure you can take the safe path and try out each field, take internships until you find something of interest. You could even maybe major in the classes that you find most interesting, or you can take the tried and true method I myself followed that has fared me well – wait until the very last day to declare and choose a major based upon what few classes are still open. Really it saved me a lot of extra work and due diligence up front. And let’s face it, there’s a chance you don’t even know what  due diligence is; so frankly, the less of it you have to do, probably the better.

We all know money begets money, so choosing a finance major – whatever your ultimate career – is likely to net you more money than choosing a psychology degree. But choosing a child or family studies degree will net you less money than….well frankly every other degree. Pssh, children. They are not our future. Am I saying major in finance even if you want to be a teacher, just because by virtue of having that degree you’re likely to be paid more? I mean…what if you got a finance degree, invented a new teaching method which taught children how to earn more money, and became wildly successful at that. Well now that would be the loophole now wouldn’t it?

Most of all, what I’m saying is that I take issue with the list noted above and wonder just how accurate it truly is? Noted as the 7th most poverty making major, was a paralegal/law degree. You’re telling me, Mr. List, that people with law degrees, over the course of their lives are some of the poorest educated individuals out there? I think not. If a student chose an undergraduate degree in law, chances are they followed up with a JD degree as well and became some sort of hoity-toity lawyer type making gobs of money practicing soul-less litigation. And if they did not, well then, they’re just that aimless sort that has no real direction or ambition in life and they probably deserve their place at #7 on the most poverty-stricken-yet educated list.

New Deal – ‘Mad Man-ian’ Bubble Dress

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Rhys Dwfen 1960′s-esque Bubble Dress – $20 Rhys Dwfen Sample Sale, Los Angeles, CA

No, not the Lady Gaga type of bubble dress. We’re talking the original. You won’t find this dress sitting behind a typewriter at Sterling Cooper Draper Price (such a mouth full), but you will when Joan, Peggy, and Co hit the town for a cocktail party. This dress is perfect, I mean it even comes complete with pockets for stashing your flask. What more could a Poor Girl ask?

…To Travel

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I may be poor but yet, I still lead a pretty fabulous life. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not blackmailing some basketball player with ‘child support’ for his bastard kid. Traveling is something – to borrow a phrase from Pretty in Pink – the ‘Richies’ love. Well guess who loves it even more? us poor folks; because nothing says “I’ve come to terms with my lot in life” like desperately trying to run away from it. There’s just one problem, that little pesky money issue again. Well, there are some ways to get around that. Sure, if you can’t jet set, you can always hitch hike. But lets face it –we’re livin’ in a creepy world these days and a It-Happened-One-Night-Claudette-Colbert signature hike of the skirt and a thumb out doesn’t exactly promise you a pleasant chauffeured ride across the country. Really it’s just a way to guarantee something else happening one night. You could bus it to your destination but hell, you may as well go spend 17 hours in the locker room of a gym with your face under someone’s arm pit.

I just booked a trip to Seattle the other day. It was free. I also bought a pack of gum once, and got a trip to New Orleans. True story. They’re called credit cards people, and many of them are attached to airline miles (I totally make $10/hr $50,000/year at 19 years old). Now let me clarify, I’m not advocating you sign up for 10 credit cards just for this perk, but in a pinch a couple aren’t terrbile – you have to establish credit some time. Banks want your money so badly, that they’ll give you a free round trip with your first purchase . And if your purchases start and stop with a $1.29 packet of gum, you’re golden. That obvi means  you don’t abuse them and have the smallest ounce of self-restraint. If you don’t have a lot of self- restraint, stop reading here – err, I guess that’s a lost cause, but the last thing you want is unneeded, un wielding credit card debt. So cheers to you my Alaska, United, and Virgin America credit cards!

New Deal – Pink ‘ Shut Your Mouth When You Talk to Me’ Heels

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So today marks the launch of my ‘New Deal’ section. Like that initialed President before me I too have some deals that I’d like to pass on to the people. Ok, I’m just going to put it out there now, if you don’t get the reference we can’t be friends; but if you do then please enjoy some of my own personal top picks. You can definitely find some great wardrobe pieces out there for a pittance. You will never find me looking shabby in that breadline – only shabby chic.

Fabulous Hot Pink and Purple Heels – $20 Shareen Vintage, Los Angeles, CA Obviously these rave-tastic shoes can’t be worn every day, or they may give someone a seizure; but fear not, they can be worn beyond the glow sticks and into your drab office to that god-awful temp job you’ve killing your days at since you can’t land steady work in this crumbling economy. Plus, the next time you tell someone at work to ‘shut their mouth when they talk to you’ they’ll know you mean business.